Apologies to Any Entomologists

You have a few less specimens to study and it's all my fault. Forgive me if this offends you, but I hate insects. All insects. From maggots to flies and fleas to mosquitoes. If it can crawl or fly and not tell me why it wants to bite or sting me, then I don't like it. Well, despite the fact that it was a crisp 62 degrees in my apartment when I woke up this morning there was a giant (ok, an oversize housefly) bug on my Joy dish soap. I couldn't tell if it could fly so instead of risking an escape from a missed swat I got out my trusty Eureka--appropriately named "The Boss" by the fine people at Eureka. I turned that cyclonic-powered vacuum on so fast that creepy crawly thing never saw it coming. Apparently 62 isn't cold enough to kill bugs. My thoughts are this: I can't wait for Winter. Not only because it's my favorite season or because it brings snow, lit fireplaces, winter hats, Christmas music, and a plethora of other amenities, but especially because Jack Frost nips the heck out of bugs. Last week there was a spider on my bed...I glory in the days when he is but a faded memory and not a reoccurring nightmare.


  1. Kim, you do realize that when you empty that vacuum the bugs will still be alive and waiting for their revenge, right?

  2. Oh sweet, innocent, Emy. Don't you think I thought of this earlier? I, of course, let my vacuum run for about 5 minutes (which I'm sure thrilled my downstairs neighbor at 7:00 am) to make sure that sucker got spun around so much it didn't stand a chance. And in case that wasn't enough I dragged that vacuum around my apartment looking for particles to suck up to ensure that their would be debris colliding with my little friend inside the tornado. As a side note: I realize this is extremely insensitive to bug lovers. Borderline morbid. I'm really sorry I didn't free it outside, but honestly, how was I supposed to get it out of my apartment without it going into hiding, biting my head off, or stinging me to death? Wasn't happening.

  3. Honey, next time vacuum up a little bug spray or bug powder. That should take care of the bug.