Monday, Monday

Mondays are bittersweet. Like many people, I hate Mondays.

I lament the end of the weekend.
I mourn the loss of relaxation.
I yearn for a few more agenda-free days.

Unfortunately, unlike most of this planet, I have an extra hatred for Mondays. I detest going to bed Sunday nights because I know the misery that will come in a few short hours: garbage collection.

"No big deal, Kim," you say. "I too take out the trash. You'll live." Oh, but it is a big deal. For some brilliant reason the City of Providence's trash pick-up occurs before 6:30 AM. Yea, that's right. The City expects cans to be taken in before leaving for work, probably to alleviate rodents or something. Not only do they pick up trash early, but of course, the garbage company can't pick up recycling as well. Oh no, we need a separate company to do that. And if that's not enough, they can't even do both sides of the street at once! Oh, no. They do the entire north side. And then come back for the south side. Seriously? Is this necessary? Is it even efficient? Four separate wake up calls?! If it's not apparent, getting woken up multiple times during my last hour of sleep doesn't make me happy. It's one of the worst ways to regularly start my week. Perhaps having a room at the front of the house where the cans are literally 10 feet from my window doesn't help.

I hate trash pick up.

However, before a nice person (emy) points this out, I will say that I am very thankful that my trash is picked up. I'm thankful that I don't have to drive it in my car anywhere. I'm thankful that it's not filling the streets where I live or polluting my water source. I appreciate all aspects of trash removal, with the exception of the cruel hour in which it occurs.

This morning was an extra joy. I really didn't want to take out the trash last night. I never know if a certain amount of snow will prohibit them from picking it up since it delays schools and cancels churches and all. I don't want to look like that dumb girl from Florida who dragged the cans to the street to sit there for a week since she obviously didn't know they weren't coming. I decided that I would wait and hope one of the other 5 tenants would take it out. If the garbage hadn't been collected by the time I woke up, but my neighbors put theirs out, I would take ours out in the morning.

SO...as I drifted off to sleep last night I heard the rumbling of the wheels on the super sized cans. "Yes!" I thought. "Suckas!" Someone else takes it out every week and I generally allow this without guilt. Well, my delight quickly turned sour this morning when I woke up at 6 am (day 1 of my new plan to work out and do a morning Bible study before work) to discover that the cans I had heard last night were from my neighbors across the street and not my building. So with outside temperatures in the upper teens, I roll out of bed, throw on my winter crocs and grab my mittens. I'm certain it'll only take 5 minutes. No biggie.

Famous last words, ey? Well, to my surprise it's snowing a bit, I'm terribly underdressed, and I have on backless shoes while forging snow drifts! I start with the "easy" stuff: recycle bins. Do you have any idea how heavy recycle bins are when they are full of recyclables + ice + snow?! Not light, I'll tell you that much.

Then I turn to the cans. There are four large cans total, but my neighbors generally play the "I'm only taking out the cans I use" game. I decided to be a bigger person and commit to all four. This was before I realized that dragging 20+ lb garbage cans, uphill, on an unplowed sidewalk, with crocs on was an absolutely foolish idea. I might as well have been wearing ice skates while attempting this. I pathetically hobbled up the hill, inches at a time, backsliding with every step I took. And with each bin and can I placed on the curb, it required me to take the next one further and further up the hill.

I let my imagine run and was secretly hoping a neighbor was watching out the window. I figured one of two things would happen: 1) They would have a great start to their morning watching a hilarious, yet pathetic attempt by the girl across the street trying fruitlessly to pull garbage cans uphill in the snow OR 2) They would pity the pathetic dame and come out to help her. Unfortuately, I don't think either occurred. Anyway, 15 or so minutes later and 5 lbs of wet clothes heavier, I accomplished the task at hand: 4 garbage cans and 6 recycle bins on the curb! It took everything in me to not call that my workout and move on to the next item on my to-do list!

This post is a little lengthier than I had expected. I mean, who can really spend that much time describing garbage collection? Probably only me.

Anyway, I promised bittersweet. That involves some "sweet."

So, I must confess that I look forward to Mondays for one, undignified reason. I spent the afternoon today eagerly anticipating my evening of digressing to a 15-year old, sitting in front of the tv, and watching ridiculous teen-dramas and trashy reality shows. That's right. I'm coming clean. As of last week, I have embraced my homeworkless evenings and turned on my newly subscribed cable. It's the only night I watch TV, but I spend my Monday evenings flipping around between The Secret Life of the American Teenager, The Bachelor, Mama's Boys, The Hills/The City, and 17 and Counting. Not my proudest moments, I'll be honest, but I do look forward to a mindless evening once a week in front of the tube!:D

No comments:

Post a Comment